The Incomplete Tale...

The pitch dark night sky was illuminated with the luminescent full moon. The twinkling stars added to the aura. A cool gentle breeze was flowing, as if trying to say something. Or perhaps was trying to sing a song, in a language better known to it. The moon saw her reflection in the calm river and smiled. She was mesmerised by her own beauty. But the moon wasn’t the only beautiful entity out there in the starry night. Tanya, tucking behind her strand of hair, she was taking small and steady steps towards the rocky side of the river bank. There lay a huge stone upon which she would sit, put her feet into the water and wander in her thoughts. She called it ‘the place’. Every time she felt alone or needed a break from her otherwise mechanical life, she would visit this place.

She had the same feeling tonight. Living a simple but fun life, it was all awesome for her. Most loving set of parents, a cute and crazy sibling, always ready-to-make-her-smile friends, she had everything, but still, somewhere, something was missing. Varun. Her best friend.

It had been ages since they met. Though they used to talk daily, their talks now somehow reeked of sarcasm. Their relationship was no longer what it used to be. She could sense they were drifting apart. But what was the reason, she had no idea. They used to be such good friends, in fact, they still were, that there whole group thought that there was something going between them. Nothing wrong with that, she would have been more than happy to have a guy like Varun as her partner, but then he was someone who was very serious about his life, yes, he was crazy like hell, but she found him a bit too matured for herself, or rather she considered herself a juvenile in front of him.

And in this immaturity, she believed she did something wrong which triggered the downfall of her relation with Varun. Their linkup sometimes made her feel uncomfortable and awkward. Though she’d denied this to Varun when he asked her whether it would affect their friendship or not.

Following their linkup, just to make everyone realise there’s nothing going between them, she kind of started to ignore him. They would no longer sit together, their lengthy multi hour long conversations went missing, and were replaced by awkward moments of silence. On enquiry by Varun, she laughed it aside saying that they were now so close to each other that those awkward moments of silence were nothing but absence of topics. Did she lie to him? Probably she did.  

It was Varun who always stood by her, made her laugh, made her smile, and was one of the rare few who could read behind her expressions and hear what was not said. He had this habit of flirting with her at the most random of places and at the most random of times. He would never get tired of showering compliments on her. He would never leave an opportunity to make her feel special. It was all still going on, but then something was wrong. She was unable to figure out an answer for this.

 She knew for a fact that even if something had gone wrong, Varun wasn’t the one who will bring it to her notice. Courteous and chivalrous to the core, he will take all the blame of a faulted relationship on himself and will leave no stone unturned to revive it. And it was evident that he was putting in all the efforts he could. Even though he was being a bit sarcastic towards her these days, his ‘I love you’ texts were at an all time high, and she knew he meant them every time he said it.

Lost in her thoughts, she took a deep breath. The cool gentle breeze made her feel alive and brought back some cheerful memories she shared with him. She wished he could be with her this moment. Varun would never let go an opportunity to hold her hands, or brush aside her strand of hair, or cuddle her. He believed if they had such good bonding and affection, its display should never be an issue. Tonight, she wanted him besides her.

He hadn’t texted yet. Of all the unique habits Varun had, texting her at 10 p.m. sharp every night was what intrigued her the most. He explained by this, he invites her, if she’s free, for a chat or atleast can remind her that he’s still alive and loves and cares for her. One helluva guy he is she thought. He went on to the extent of saying that if she doesn’t get a message from him any day, the only reason could be that he’s dead. Nothing else could stop him from texting her.

It was already 15 minutes past 10 and no text. This had never happened before. She thought tonight she’ll text him, but just as she was to dial his number, her cell phone came alive with his call. And with that came a sweet smile on her face.

“hey sweets, how’re u??” he said in his usual signature flirtatious happy voice.

“I’m good. You know, I’m at the river side right now. How’re u?? she chortled back.

“It seems like an era since I met you. How can I be good? I’ve missed u so much.” He said, he was serious this time.

“I’ve missed you too. You know I wish you could be here with me. It’s such a lovely atmosphere, but no use being alone.”

“you wish me to be there? Your wish is my command Tanya. I’ll be there in a while. See ya.” He said.

“hey I am just kidding. You don’t need to drive all the way from your place to here…” she trailed off, he had already disconnected the call, and presumably, already on his way to meet her.

Did she mind that? Not at all.

As she was sitting there, her eyes closed and deep into her thoughts, she felt a familiar shoulder around her arms cuddle her. Varun. He was here.

“hey!! How come you’re here so soon?” she exclaimed, “Hardly a moment or two must have passed since our call!!”

“Maybe because I don’t have too much time left with me.” he answered.

“What?” she puzzled.

“Nothing. Tumne bulaya tha, jaldi to aana tha Tanya…” he answered, “I hope you do realise that I am always super eager to meet you!!

“I know.”

And then it was again, the moment of silence. She knew how much he detested such moments. Break the ice her mind told her. But then it’s not always that easy. It’s easy to break the ice in the initial stage of a relationship, but when distances creep in and it seems like you’ve drifted apart, breaking the ice for the second time is the most difficult thing to do. She had a million questions in mind. Varun, are we drifting apart? Is everything all right between us? Has some misunderstanding crept between us?

Exactly at the same moment, Varun had similar questions whizzing by in his mind. ‘Tanya, what has gone wrong between us?’ ‘Is our relationship still the same?’ ‘Are we still friends, the kind of that we used to be?’ ‘Has someone said anything about me to you?’ and the most painful one, ‘Tanya, I feel you’ve been trying to ignore me all these days. Why? I can’t take this.’

 But he knew, this wasn’t the time to discuss all this. These questions didn’t really matter. The reason for this sudden visit was something else. He had very less time with him…

Varun took a deep breath and then sighed, a strand of hair was brushing against Tanya’s face, and he loved such moments. He stretched out his hand, tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled at her. She smiled back. Her smile used to make Varun go bonkers, it used to make his day.

“You know you’re really beautiful.” He said.

“thank you.” She replied, with a hint of blush.

Varun then held her hands, intertwined his fingers with her, and realised the moment had come. He now had to tell her, this was his last opportunity.

“Tanya, did I ever tell you that being friends with you is one of the best things that has happened to me in the recent times.” He said.

“Really? That’s so sweet of you.” She replied. She did not doubt him. Though Varun was a champion flirt and would often say things that would sound like going over the top, but more often than not, he meant it, and this was one such statement.

Varun stared into her eyes. She stared back at him. Oh those lovely pretty eyes of her! The twinkle they had, and the innocence they sparked, it was tough not to fall in love with her. Was Varun in love with Tanya? Well, this question shall remain unanswered.

“You want to say something?” Tanya asked Varun, eye to eye communication really worked between them.

“How well you know me Tanya!’’ he exclaimed, “I do want to say something.”

“So, say it. Why do you always have to take so much footage and create dramatics before saying anything?” she giggled.

 Varun let out a slight laugh, and then turned serious. He wanted to make the most of this opportunity, time was running out, he composed his thoughts and spoke.

“Tanya, I have no idea whether you realised it or not, but I kind of felt that we’ve been drifting apart…”

“but there isn’t…” she interrupted.

“let me speak Tanya, let me speak. I will do the talking tonight.” and he resumed, “somewhere, something’s wrong between us. Whether you noticed it or not, but I did. And it hurts. I always wanted to seek an answer to this. But tonight, I am not looking for any explanation or answers. All I want to say is, the friendship, the relationship we share is very precious to me.

When we first started talking, I’d no clue we would end up being such good friends. But in the middle, things started to change. Well, let’s not talk about that. What I’m trying to say is I have no clue and I don’t even wish to know what I mean to you or how much I matter to you. I leave it for you to figure that out, but all the time that we spent together, all the memories we shared, makes you a friend very special and close to heart for me. I know there are hundreds of people around you, and I don’t know where do I stand amongst them, but trust me when I say this, every time you feel down and low, just close your eyes and think of me, and a smile would surely pass on your face.”

 Varun now felt more at calm and ease. He had probably said almost everything that he ever wanted to. Almost, yes, some things are better left unsaid. And all this while, their hands were still holding each other. None of them made any effort to let the other hand go off.

Tanya was amazed and surprised at this emotional confession of Varun. She’d always seen Varun as a guy who’s crazy like hell but she knew he had a sentimental side as well. She took some time for his words to sink into her. She realised her acts in the past had hurt his friend, but his friend was loving and caring enough not to mention them, instead he chose the other way round. He had made her realise how much he loved and cared for her and how special she was to him. He was one friend she would never let go she decided at very instant.

After all this, she needed to say something, but words eluded her and voice betrayed her. She knew action speaks louder than words, so she came forward, wrapped her arms around his, and hugged him tight. The bonding, the closeness, which they both thought was missing, they now discovered was still intact. Nothing could separate them, or could something? Only time could answer this question.

“you’re very sweet.” She finally managed to say.

“All my sweetness come from you dear. You inspire me to be sweet.”

“Tell me, how do you manage to convert even a simple statement into a romantic dialogue?” she asked, visibly surprised.

“Well, I’ve an interesting muse you see.” He replied with a dead pan expression, trying to sound serious. He failed miserably because she burst out laughing hearing this.

He joined her laughter and said, “you look so cute when you laugh. I’m really gonna miss you.” This time he sounded serious.

“Miss me? you’re going somewhere?” she asked.

“I think I am.” The seriousness stuck in his voice, but then he brought a faint smile on his face, and said, 

“Tanya, I love you. You’re my dearest friend.” And again hugged her.

Tanya did hug him back but didn’t respond to his I love you, she seldom did, following their linkup, she had become very conscious of everything she said and she didn’t want to say anything that would give a wrong indication to Varun. Better safe than sorry, she believed. But did Varun mind that? Probably not. He was the guy who said ‘I love you’ not with an intention to hear it back but just to make sure the other person knew his feelings.

The hug this time didn’t last for long. Their hug and the silence of the moment was broken by the shrill ringing of her cell phone. She asked Varun to excuse her for a minute and went ahead to answer the call.

It was Sandhya, her friend, member of their group.

“hey Sandy, what’s up?” she asked answering the call.

Sandhya didn’t reply, all Tanya could hear was sobs on the other side of the phone.

“what’s up Sandhya? You’re crying? What happened?” she could now sense panic in her own voice.

“Tanya…Tanya…I just had a call from Atul, Varun’s roommate and…” her voice trailed, her sobs were growing harder and louder.

  “and? What’s the mystery Sandy? You aren’t making me feel the least bit comfortable.” She answered, with some amount of anger evident in her voice.

“Tanya. Varun’s dead. He met with an accident an hour ago, and he…he is no more between us Tanya…he’s gone forever.” She said and disconnected the call.

“what the fuck!!” she exclaimed, she was writhing in anger. How could Sandhya crack such a bad joke. It was really foul on her part. Varun’s dead an hour ago. And here he’s sitting next to me.

She decided to tell this to Varun and turned towards him. Varun. Where did he go? Just a moment ago, he was sitting next to her, but wasn’t there anymore. She called out his name a dozen times, the pitch increasing every time. She decided to ring him just to check whether he had gone somewhere. Easy, just dial the second most recent number from the recent call history. But, there wasn’t any call from Varun recently. She dialled his number only to get the ‘phone is switched off’ message.

And then reality struck. Sandhya was playing no joke. She gave her a news. Now she came to realise the intricacies of what Varun had said sometime back.

“are you going somewhere?”

“Maybe I am.” He had said.

She finally realised what he meant when he said “I have very less time with me.”

Varun was gone. He just came here to set things between them and to express how much he loved her, how much he cared for her.

The world came crashing around her. She always believed, or rather made herself believe that no one person can ever be too special. Varun had proved her wrong. He was a special friend. She now realised. It was just that she realised it a bit too late.

Tears puddled in her eyes and she looked heavenwards, as if trying to search Varun somewhere over there. She saw that the stars were twinkling in full glory, the sky was still bright, but the moon, the moon was overshadowed by the clouds. She could relate that to her situation, she had plenty of friends around her, just like the sky still had the stars, but Varun was gone, just like the moon was hidden behind the clouds.

But what was more painful was the moon will eventually come out of the clouds, but Varun was never going to come back. She had just lost a dear friend, forever.

 A lone tear trickled down her cheeks, and she finally mumbled, “I love you too Varun.”

Did this come out a bit late? Guess, it did.