And it came to an end...

He smoothly parked his six year old second hand Maruti Alto, the last gift from his grandpa, in the basement of Diamond Horizon; exactly the way he had been doing for the last two years. Parking in this basement because of the seemingly ill planned construction of the building was always a challenge for him. But things are going to change today he thought. He was going to put it all to an end.

He went past the guard at reception and acknowledged his salute with a gentle nod. The guard was perhaps the only person who reminded him of his existence in this building. Wait, his reflection in the mirror did that too. For others, he was akin to a piece of furniture. But things are going to change today he thought. He was going to put it all to an end.

He entered the lift and drew in a deep breath. It felt good to realise he was the only person to enter into the lift. He indeed needed some time alone. Without a second thought, he pressed the button for 20th floor instead of erstwhile 9th floor where his office, VistaVision – Marketing & Brand Consultants was located; 20th floor for its access to the terrace which provided him a breathtaking view of the Mumbai landscape. He took a quick glance at his watch and made a mental calculation that it would take him approximately 5 minutes to reach his destination given the condition of the elevator.

He now acknowledged his reflection in the mirror. His face bore a calm expression today, calmness, an expression which he was bereft of for ages. Perhaps it was because things were going to change today as he was going to put it all to an end.

He stared at his reflection and realised how aged he looked. He was all of 26 years of age but looked nothing younger than 35, thanks to his dull and gloomy face, brooding eyes and a receding hairline. He gave one last stare at his reflection before he stepped out of the lift as it declared the arrival of 20th floor.

Standing at the edge of the terrace, today he did not bother to gaze at the view it had to offer. His mind was clear; his decision final. There was no trepidation whatsoever in his thoughts. He didn’t bother to see around; he couldn’t see the airplanes in the horizon. He failed to see the enigmatic shapes the clouds conjured. He even missed out on the game of cricket, a game he once loved so much, which some kids from the nearby slum were playing. Nothing of this mattered to him. Today, he was a reformed person. There was resolute in his actions and thoughts. Today was the day when he would put things to an end, the day when it would change forever, or rather come to an end for eternity.

And without a second thought, Akshat jumped off the terrace. Gravity was now to serve its duty.

He could feel the wind gushing at his face during his freefall and the wind with it brought along a comfort and excitement which he had led himself to believe had ceased to exist within him. He felt delight in the feeling of the crisp wind rushing over his face. During these moments, he felt the world come to a standstill and time had ceased to exist.

He could see the concrete pavement a few stories below on which he would fall in a few moments and with its impact, things will come to an end. The end was inevitable and this fact was like a balm to his bruised and battered soul. The soothing sensation brought a smile on his face.

He had no regrets, no remorse for taking this extreme step. He felt no guilt. It wasn’t a knee jerk reaction. But all things piling one over the other and a life, living which made no sense to him, living which was residing in a bottomless pit led him to take this decision.

He was sure that his demise was not going to affect too many people, or rather anyone in that case. He spent his childhood in a boarding school away from his abode, his home; the basic reason for disconnect between him and his parents. On top of it, his parents had long since divorced and neither of his parents actually took any responsibility for him.

Friends! This term was as illusory to him as life is to a corpse. Confined to own shell, all his life he had been an introvert and let very few people in his territory. But the ones who he let come close to him; he valued them with his life. He was a person who in spite of being used and trashed by people would still find something good in them. But unfortunately, it was the people whom he valued and called his own would turn their backs at him in the need of the hour. There were many instances when all he needed was a friend besides him but when he looked around, found no one.

His job and his workplace was the last thing he ever looked forward to. He remembered, how with a flair for marketing and a dream to make it big in life he had ventured into VistaVision. Touted as one of the smartest guys in his batch he was destined to grow up the ladder. He was a smart marketer, but not a street-smart person. His generosity would often lead him for a toss. But he wouldn’t budge. As a result he wouldn’t get his due either. In his career of 5 years of which he spent two years at VistaVision, he had created quite successful campaigns for his clients. But a promotion or a substantial hike would often elude him because in spite of being a powerhouse of talent he lacked the talent of sucking up to people.

In his otherwise dark and gloomy life, there was a tiny speck of light; Shruti, a girl in whom he found his love. He had come to terms with life after he found his abode in Shruti. He was smitten with her smile. He would do even the most idiotic things to make her laugh. Having her in an embrace would make him forget the world. The mere sight of she brushing aside her strand of hair would bring a smile on his face and make him go bonkers. She was equally smitten with him. She had fallen for his simplicity and honesty and for the very fact that he loved her more than anyone ever did, more than anyone ever could. They both had decided to marry. But a hurdle in their atonement loomed around; his meager salary.

She had been raised with all the niceties and the luxuries and it was only right for her dad to expect to find a match for her who would his treat daughter nothing less than a princess. He wanted a groom for her daughter who could literally bring the world to her feet. Akshat would consider it a great achievement if he could even get a fake Gucci to her feet with his pay! In this pursuit to find a decent guy with a high paying job, he found Shruti a match. Shivank Agarwal, 28 years of age, Project Manager at Microsoft, USA, and a seven figured salary.

With fire in his belly and desire to somehow manage to stand against competition for Shruti from a seven figured salary holder, Akshat had been working his asses off for a product launch for the last six months and the market study showed his efforts had not gone in vain. The product was selling like a hot cake and he thought his promotion was due. He was long since anticipating this because with promotion the hike that would follow would bring some amount of respect to his salary slip and would infuse a certain level of confidence post which he would talk to Shruti’s dad and convince him for their marriage.

But then as fate would have it, Akshat’s boss lapped on to all the credit and Akshat was yet again sidelined for a promotion and denied a hike. All he got was a pat on the back and ‘good job’ from his boss.

With this all his hopes of wooing her dad were lost. Broken and shattered, he was no match for Mr. Agarwal. He didn’t even stand a chance against him, let alone compete and win over. Needless to say, he could never talk to her dad, and she eventually had to succumb to her dad’s request of getting married to ‘highly qualified well earning guy. As heartbreaking as it may sound, but Shruti and Akshat had to part their ways.

Something snapped within. He had been a loner all his life and had come to terms with it. He had tried to be strong all his life but with Shruti, all his strength was gone. He never complained for not having a father to teach him how to ride a cycle. He never complained for not having a mother to cook delicacies for him. He never complained for having a job that sucked the life out of him for a Rs. 37,500 monthly salary. He had learnt to accept this as a harsh reality of his life, something from which he couldn’t turn away. But somehow the fact that Shruti was no longer a part of his life was indigestible. Moments spent with her were now plain memories. Plans for the future were reduced to jaded dreams. Loneliness and darkness surrounded him, and a deep sorrow engulfed him.

He tried to battle it, he tried to combat it. For six straight months! But then waking up every day on a wet pillow is not the ideal way to start a day. A hollow that resided within was encroaching and eating him bit by bit. His life was nothing but a process of inhalation and exhalation. He had a life, but there wasn’t any one to live with.

And then one day he finally decided to end it all. He was tired. He needed relief.

Every single thing flashed before his eyes as he inched close the ground. He was moments away from the impact. But in those moments, there was happiness. He felt exhilarated. He breathed freedom. He sensed hope. Hope that this will end soon and perhaps sometime someday somewhere he will get another life which would be better than this one.

A second before the impact, he embraced death and breathed his last.

The impact happened. He died an instant death.

There was blood around his head like a halo, and his legs buckled underneath, his arms snapped like a twig. But his face was serene, at peace. Because when he died, he could feel the wind against his face.

Love Can Happen Twice

Love Can Happen Twice

“Phew...and this brings us to the end of all the ceremonies…we have nothing better to do before ‘bidai’.” Said Dhruv breathing a sigh of relief, after panditji announced the bride and groom, official husband and wife. The announcement came at around 1:30 midnight after the completion of marathon ceremonies of jaymaal, saptpadi and kanyadaan.

“So what do we do now?” quizzed Roshni, “actually let’s do nothing. Better grab some sleep, really tired.” She answered her own question.

“Good idea” echoed everyone, as they made their way to the room allotted to their team.

It was Krissh’s brother’s wedding and he had got his friends Dhruv, Roshni and Aarohi to assist him with the wedding planning. As they all wanted to make a career out of event management, they had all agreed to help him and the girls had even managed to convince their parents for a night stay at Krissh’s place. Though this part did involve a bit of coaxing and convincing, Krissh however managed it…their parents could trust him with their girls.

After two continuous weeks of hard work, nonstop fun and less than 6 hour sleep per day, the team finally felt it was within their rights to enjoy their share of rest. They had been all working relentlessly, and sleep was well deserved. Next assignment, the bidai, was almost 12 hours away.

The room allotted to Krissh and his friends was pretty decent and modest. With a row of four mattresses, dressed with a simple bedsheet and cooled by nothing but two old somehow working fans, the words best describe the décor. The only saving grace to the room was two large windows which provided it with enough light and ventilation for survival. Krissh had insisted that the girls occupy a separate, better and more sophisticated room, but they found no problem in sharing this particular room with the guys. The girls had made their choice, he was helpless in front of them.

As they entered the room, no one uttered a word, not even a goodnight. No jokes cracked, no laughs exchanged. Fatigue had finally taken its toll on them. Everyone mimicked the other by removing their footwear and tossing it to a lone side of the room. That was the last thing they did before shutting down their system and dozing off to sleep. Dhruv crash-landed on the 1^st mattress, while Krissh occupied the one next to him. The third mattress was the territory of Aarohi and the final one was taken by Roshni.

Everyone slept. Except one. Krissh.

He always had difficulties in sleeping. No matter how tired he would be, sleep would always elude him. Sleeping on his left, facing Aarohi, he was having a tough time sleeping even tonight. But tonight, it was not due to his insomnia. He was busy reading a poem. A beautiful poem at that! The poem kept him awake.

The poem was his best friend and had helped him come out of very recent heartbreak he suffered. The cute talks and innocent thoughts of the poem had helped him fill in the void and had made him survive. The poem had helped him a lot to atleast try to get over her previous relationship. The poem had a lovely strand of hair falling on her face, which the poem very aesthetically brushed aside in a swift motion with eyes closed. The calm on the face of the poem, and a cute smile on face of the same kept him engaged. Such was his involvement that he could have kept on reading the poem throughout the night had the poem not spoken.

“Hey, you still up?” said Aarohi, the poem, in a slightly dazed voice gently opening her eyes.

 “Yeah, not yet sleepy.” Answered Krissh looking into her eyes with a smile.

She smiled back, and both looked into each other’s eyes. What followed were some moments of golden silence. The kind of silence where one says nothing and still the silence doesn’t hurt.

“Aarohi, do you have any idea how cute you look when you sleep?” Krissh complimented her breaking the silence. Was he trying to flirt with her? Probably not, in spite of being a champion flirt, he always had a tough time flirting with two types of girls, the ones who scared him, and the one he would fall in love with. So, to which category did Aarohi belong? It sure wasn’t the former. For the time being, it can be safely said, it was a genuine compliment.

“Really? Thanks,” she said, of course with her cheeks turning a light pink, leaving no clue that she blushed, 

“No one ever told me.”

“Hmm…that’s because probably no guy ever got a chance to sleep with you.” He said with a wink, though sounding thoughtful. Nothing in the world can prevent him for flirting with a pretty girl. It is almost like response to stimuli for him!!!

Her eyes went wide in amazement as she tried to soak in the statement and make sense out of it. And when she did, pat came the reply, “Oh, very well said. That was aptly put. But you see, I haven’t yet slept with you. You’ve just been plain lucky to have pounced upon an opportunity to sleep next to me.” A naughty wink soon followed. It was a stupid and downright ridiculous discussion, but they both seemed to enjoy it. Each other’s company is what they would always seek.

“Ok, you’ve a valid point, but you see, since we are sharing this room, and are supposed to sleep in the same, there’s nothing wrong in saying that technically we’re sleeping with each other.” He countered.

“You know, I reckon you’re right. I rest my case.” She concluded and they both shared a hearty laughter.

“Oye morons! What the hell do you think you guys are doing in the dead of the night? Sleep and let sleep!!” Dhruv shot in a semi sleep state. They had disturbed someone’s peace.

“ssshhh!!!” Aarohi said, placing her index finger on her lips. Krissh was quick to imitate the action. And again they had a laugh riot, albeit a silent one this time.

“um…Aarohi, since you’ve agreed to my point, do you mind if I update my FB status to ‘Krissh Ahuja slept with Aarohi Singh’?” he said, sounding utmost honest and innocent.

Smack!! Came a sound.

Aarohi had very well awarded Krissh for his statement.

“Alright, I got my answer.” He chortled, barely managing to control his laughter. Controlling the urge to laugh out loud was now a challenge even for Aarohi. 

 A few moments later Krissh asked, “Aren’t you sleepy yet?”

“No, I’m not. In fact, I want to stay awake for the rest of the night!” she exclaimed.

“And why do you want to perform such a stunt?” Krissh puzzled.

“Because you know, I had always wanted to stay awake at a stretch for 24 hours. 19 hours have already passed, I somehow want to keep sleep away from me for the next 5 hours,” Was her answer, “and I’m sure you’ll help me out with this.”

“Wow! Now that’s a quite a crazy thought, but not unexpected from you. Nonetheless, I’ll help you with this mission dear damsel, hmm…so why don’t I try to scare you? You know, I read somewhere that you tend to not sleep and your brain is the most active when you are scared.” He suggested. He loved scaring her. Not because he expected her to snuggle up to him like others when scared, but for some strange reasons, every time he would try to spook her, rather than getting scared, she would laugh out loud. He loved her laughter.

“Wow! So you’ll narrate me a horror story? So cool!” she exclaimed, making her eyebrows dance with each word she said. She was so expressive while talking; all the punctuations she gave were evident on her face!

“Yeah, kind of…um, suppose you’re sleeping in your room with a teddy next to you and…”

“I know what happens next,” she interrupted excitedly, “I hug the teddy and the teddy hugs me back, isn’t it?”

“Ah…so you’re already aware of this. No problem, I have some other tricks up my sleeve.” He shot confidently, “Now suppose you’re in your washroom, standing right in front of a mirror…”

“I know… I know… I know it again; I’ll stare at my reflection for some time and then I’ll move, but my reflection won’t. It would keep on staring in void with a murderous look and a deathly smile on her face, right?” she interrupted again, with the same excitement.

“Oh, you know this too,” he said, sheepishly, “alright, now is the time for some special effects!!! Ha...Ha...Ha!!” he announced.

“Ok, go ahead!” she said, with a grin. Ah! That smile of hers. It would make him go weak in the knees.

“Hmm…so we’re in this room, everyone is sleeping,” he started his tale in a rough coarse voice, if not his story, then atleast this voice would scare her he hoped, “and then we hear a howling fox…”

“Uh, sorry to cut you down again, but it’s the wolf who howls, not the fox, right?” she again interjected.

“Yeah, right, thank you, so the wolf howls, aawwoooo…and then, the rusty wind blows, wwhhssshhhh, because of the wind, the windows go thud thud thud and…” he said this all making all these stupid noises. He went a step further. Not in scaring her, but making her laugh instead.

“That’s it! I’m not doing this anymore!” he said, faking anger and hopelessness, “this is not fair. I’m making so many attempts to scare and you stupefy me every time!”

This only added to her laughter.

“Stop it Krissh…you’re so funny!! I’m dying laughing!!” she said, laughing with her hands on her stomach, “you’re so cute!” she said, pulling his cheeks.

For once he thanked God giving him chubby cheeks. He blushed a bit. Obviously, with the dark night and his complexion, it was a bit tough to notice that.

“I’m cute? Thanks!” he said sheepishly, “but that’s not the point,” with this he again switched his mood, this time to grumpy, “it’s an unspoken rule, you should get scared when someone tries to scare you.”

“Really? I didn’t know that. Who made this rule by the way?” she querried.

“I.” he confessed.

And they burst out laughing. Someone didn’t find it too funny.

“Tell me one reason why shouldn’t I kill you rascals?” Roshni tried to shout. Tried to shout, because she still sounded drowsy.

“Maybe because we’re your best friends?” Aarohi offered.

“Yeah right, best friends. And that’s why you wouldn’t sleep and let others sleep. Fuck you!” Roshni spurted all her anger.

“Fuck me? Do you promise that sweetheart?” Krissh asked.

Roshni said nothing, just gave him a standing ovation of her middle finger and went off to sleep.

 Krissh and Aarohi exchanged some silent giggles.

“You know what, I have never met a guy half as funny as you.” She said, with her trademark style still on.

“Thank you. But tell you what, I’m not funny. In fact it’s you who makes me funny.” He replied.

“Really? Am I a joke book or a clown?”

“None. The fact is that you’re really pretty. And you have a lovely smile and a cute laughter. So whenever I am with you, just to bring your lovely smile, and your cute laughter on your pretty face, I try to be funny.” He said, he sounded genuine.

“Wow! That almost sounded genuine! You’re a champion flirt. Hail IIFT!” she exclaimed.

“I wasn’t flirting this time around Aarohi, I meant every word that I said.” He confessed, looking straight into her eyes. Her brown eyes, sparkling, innocent, and charming. He loved looking into her eyes.

“You make me feel so special!”

“That’s because you’re special. At least to me!”

“You know, you’re way too good.” She said, “I enjoy being with you. I really like your company.”

“I echo the same sentiments Aarohi. You’re one person I always look forward to be with.” He said, “by the way, did you ever notice that you brush aside your strand of hair almost three times a minute? That’s 20 seconds per brushing on an average, technically speaking!”

Her ‘strand of hair’ is her x-factor is what he would always tell her. True, she looked so cute when she would tuck away that strand of hair behind her ear in a swift motion. It was an inimitable act. No girl could do it better than her.

“Wow! I never noticed that. You’re pretty observant!” was her answer.

“Nah, I’m just observant. Pretty toh tum ho…” he said with a wink. Yes, the dude was back to his flirting business.

“Don’t you ever get tired of showering compliments upon me? I do realise that I’m good looking, but not even half as pretty as you describe me.”

“Oh, so you doubt my claims!” he said, “What should I do? What should I do? How about getting an affidavit signed by 100 guys of different age groups and culture saying you’re super pretty? You know, that’ll give an universal confirmation to my claims. What’s your take?”

“Oh stop it dude! Where did this affidavit thing come from? Alright, I accept your statements about my beauty. Happy?

“very!”

“Krissh, you make me blush so much!” she said.

Her blush was visible on her fair skin. Her cheeks turning a light shade of pink; some more compliments and she would’ve resembled a ripened tomato for sure.

“That’s my secret agenda you know. Making you blush is my favourite hobby,” he replied, “but jokes apart; it won’t be an exaggeration if I say that of all the girls I have come across, you’re one of the prettiest. In fact, you’re not just another pretty face; you’re a very beautiful person. And I really love you for that.” He said, and this time, he meant every word he said.

Aarohi didn’t reply to this in words. She simply smiled at him, and slid her hand towards his hand. Their fingers intertwined.

The sun had come up on the horizon. The first rays of the sun broke through the window and christened her face. Her face had a glow of its own as if emanated from within. She seemed no less than an angel. At this moment, all of the world’s Cinderellas, and Snow Whites and all the fairies combined together would have failed to match her beauty.

A gentle breeze gushed in and her strand of hair fell again on her face. Krissh stretched out his other hand and tucked it behind her ear. He let his hand rest there.

“Tell you what Krissh; I’ll never forget these moments we just spent.” Aarohi expressed herself.

“Nor will I,” said he, “I’ll always cherish these moments. In fact, someday I think I’ll write about this.”

“I wish I had control over things. I wish I could stop the sun from rising, or atleast I could delay the morning by a couple of hours. I wish I could go back in time and relive these moments over and over again. Thanks for the wonderful time Krissh.”

“Anything for you Aarohi, and in fact I even owe you thanks, I do not remember when was the last time I laughed so much, when was the last time I had so much fun. I feel glad to have you in my life.”

Krissh poured out his heart gently stroking her hair. His other hand was still clasped in Aarohi’s hand; she was in no mood to let it go.

“Oye! It’s 7 a.m.” announced Dhruv, waking up with a start and then quickly drawing their attention to the time. Krissh and Aarohi immediately drew their hands from their respective places. They stole secret smiling glances as they woke up.

“Get up guys, and get ready. It is breakfast time; we need to make the arrangements.” Aarohi ordered everyone.

Everyone slowly left the room. That day something changed in Krissh, he finally got over his past relationship. He had again found a reason to smile, a reason to be happy. A reason to love, and a reason to be loved. Aarohi, the girl with an admirable strand of hair, alluring eyes, angelic smile, captivating laughter and a beauteous person.

Yes, he was in love.

Love can happen twice.

And this time, he’ll make it work.  

The Incomplete Tale...

The pitch dark night sky was illuminated with the luminescent full moon. The twinkling stars added to the aura. A cool gentle breeze was flowing, as if trying to say something. Or perhaps was trying to sing a song, in a language better known to it. The moon saw her reflection in the calm river and smiled. She was mesmerised by her own beauty. But the moon wasn’t the only beautiful entity out there in the starry night. Tanya, tucking behind her strand of hair, she was taking small and steady steps towards the rocky side of the river bank. There lay a huge stone upon which she would sit, put her feet into the water and wander in her thoughts. She called it ‘the place’. Every time she felt alone or needed a break from her otherwise mechanical life, she would visit this place.

She had the same feeling tonight. Living a simple but fun life, it was all awesome for her. Most loving set of parents, a cute and crazy sibling, always ready-to-make-her-smile friends, she had everything, but still, somewhere, something was missing. Varun. Her best friend.

It had been ages since they met. Though they used to talk daily, their talks now somehow reeked of sarcasm. Their relationship was no longer what it used to be. She could sense they were drifting apart. But what was the reason, she had no idea. They used to be such good friends, in fact, they still were, that there whole group thought that there was something going between them. Nothing wrong with that, she would have been more than happy to have a guy like Varun as her partner, but then he was someone who was very serious about his life, yes, he was crazy like hell, but she found him a bit too matured for herself, or rather she considered herself a juvenile in front of him.

And in this immaturity, she believed she did something wrong which triggered the downfall of her relation with Varun. Their linkup sometimes made her feel uncomfortable and awkward. Though she’d denied this to Varun when he asked her whether it would affect their friendship or not.

Following their linkup, just to make everyone realise there’s nothing going between them, she kind of started to ignore him. They would no longer sit together, their lengthy multi hour long conversations went missing, and were replaced by awkward moments of silence. On enquiry by Varun, she laughed it aside saying that they were now so close to each other that those awkward moments of silence were nothing but absence of topics. Did she lie to him? Probably she did.  

It was Varun who always stood by her, made her laugh, made her smile, and was one of the rare few who could read behind her expressions and hear what was not said. He had this habit of flirting with her at the most random of places and at the most random of times. He would never get tired of showering compliments on her. He would never leave an opportunity to make her feel special. It was all still going on, but then something was wrong. She was unable to figure out an answer for this.

 She knew for a fact that even if something had gone wrong, Varun wasn’t the one who will bring it to her notice. Courteous and chivalrous to the core, he will take all the blame of a faulted relationship on himself and will leave no stone unturned to revive it. And it was evident that he was putting in all the efforts he could. Even though he was being a bit sarcastic towards her these days, his ‘I love you’ texts were at an all time high, and she knew he meant them every time he said it.

Lost in her thoughts, she took a deep breath. The cool gentle breeze made her feel alive and brought back some cheerful memories she shared with him. She wished he could be with her this moment. Varun would never let go an opportunity to hold her hands, or brush aside her strand of hair, or cuddle her. He believed if they had such good bonding and affection, its display should never be an issue. Tonight, she wanted him besides her.

He hadn’t texted yet. Of all the unique habits Varun had, texting her at 10 p.m. sharp every night was what intrigued her the most. He explained by this, he invites her, if she’s free, for a chat or atleast can remind her that he’s still alive and loves and cares for her. One helluva guy he is she thought. He went on to the extent of saying that if she doesn’t get a message from him any day, the only reason could be that he’s dead. Nothing else could stop him from texting her.

It was already 15 minutes past 10 and no text. This had never happened before. She thought tonight she’ll text him, but just as she was to dial his number, her cell phone came alive with his call. And with that came a sweet smile on her face.

“hey sweets, how’re u??” he said in his usual signature flirtatious happy voice.

“I’m good. You know, I’m at the river side right now. How’re u?? she chortled back.

“It seems like an era since I met you. How can I be good? I’ve missed u so much.” He said, he was serious this time.

“I’ve missed you too. You know I wish you could be here with me. It’s such a lovely atmosphere, but no use being alone.”

“you wish me to be there? Your wish is my command Tanya. I’ll be there in a while. See ya.” He said.

“hey I am just kidding. You don’t need to drive all the way from your place to here…” she trailed off, he had already disconnected the call, and presumably, already on his way to meet her.

Did she mind that? Not at all.

As she was sitting there, her eyes closed and deep into her thoughts, she felt a familiar shoulder around her arms cuddle her. Varun. He was here.

“hey!! How come you’re here so soon?” she exclaimed, “Hardly a moment or two must have passed since our call!!”

“Maybe because I don’t have too much time left with me.” he answered.

“What?” she puzzled.

“Nothing. Tumne bulaya tha, jaldi to aana tha Tanya…” he answered, “I hope you do realise that I am always super eager to meet you!!

“I know.”

And then it was again, the moment of silence. She knew how much he detested such moments. Break the ice her mind told her. But then it’s not always that easy. It’s easy to break the ice in the initial stage of a relationship, but when distances creep in and it seems like you’ve drifted apart, breaking the ice for the second time is the most difficult thing to do. She had a million questions in mind. Varun, are we drifting apart? Is everything all right between us? Has some misunderstanding crept between us?

Exactly at the same moment, Varun had similar questions whizzing by in his mind. ‘Tanya, what has gone wrong between us?’ ‘Is our relationship still the same?’ ‘Are we still friends, the kind of that we used to be?’ ‘Has someone said anything about me to you?’ and the most painful one, ‘Tanya, I feel you’ve been trying to ignore me all these days. Why? I can’t take this.’

 But he knew, this wasn’t the time to discuss all this. These questions didn’t really matter. The reason for this sudden visit was something else. He had very less time with him…

Varun took a deep breath and then sighed, a strand of hair was brushing against Tanya’s face, and he loved such moments. He stretched out his hand, tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled at her. She smiled back. Her smile used to make Varun go bonkers, it used to make his day.

“You know you’re really beautiful.” He said.

“thank you.” She replied, with a hint of blush.

Varun then held her hands, intertwined his fingers with her, and realised the moment had come. He now had to tell her, this was his last opportunity.

“Tanya, did I ever tell you that being friends with you is one of the best things that has happened to me in the recent times.” He said.

“Really? That’s so sweet of you.” She replied. She did not doubt him. Though Varun was a champion flirt and would often say things that would sound like going over the top, but more often than not, he meant it, and this was one such statement.

Varun stared into her eyes. She stared back at him. Oh those lovely pretty eyes of her! The twinkle they had, and the innocence they sparked, it was tough not to fall in love with her. Was Varun in love with Tanya? Well, this question shall remain unanswered.

“You want to say something?” Tanya asked Varun, eye to eye communication really worked between them.

“How well you know me Tanya!’’ he exclaimed, “I do want to say something.”

“So, say it. Why do you always have to take so much footage and create dramatics before saying anything?” she giggled.

 Varun let out a slight laugh, and then turned serious. He wanted to make the most of this opportunity, time was running out, he composed his thoughts and spoke.

“Tanya, I have no idea whether you realised it or not, but I kind of felt that we’ve been drifting apart…”

“but there isn’t…” she interrupted.

“let me speak Tanya, let me speak. I will do the talking tonight.” and he resumed, “somewhere, something’s wrong between us. Whether you noticed it or not, but I did. And it hurts. I always wanted to seek an answer to this. But tonight, I am not looking for any explanation or answers. All I want to say is, the friendship, the relationship we share is very precious to me.

When we first started talking, I’d no clue we would end up being such good friends. But in the middle, things started to change. Well, let’s not talk about that. What I’m trying to say is I have no clue and I don’t even wish to know what I mean to you or how much I matter to you. I leave it for you to figure that out, but all the time that we spent together, all the memories we shared, makes you a friend very special and close to heart for me. I know there are hundreds of people around you, and I don’t know where do I stand amongst them, but trust me when I say this, every time you feel down and low, just close your eyes and think of me, and a smile would surely pass on your face.”

 Varun now felt more at calm and ease. He had probably said almost everything that he ever wanted to. Almost, yes, some things are better left unsaid. And all this while, their hands were still holding each other. None of them made any effort to let the other hand go off.

Tanya was amazed and surprised at this emotional confession of Varun. She’d always seen Varun as a guy who’s crazy like hell but she knew he had a sentimental side as well. She took some time for his words to sink into her. She realised her acts in the past had hurt his friend, but his friend was loving and caring enough not to mention them, instead he chose the other way round. He had made her realise how much he loved and cared for her and how special she was to him. He was one friend she would never let go she decided at very instant.

After all this, she needed to say something, but words eluded her and voice betrayed her. She knew action speaks louder than words, so she came forward, wrapped her arms around his, and hugged him tight. The bonding, the closeness, which they both thought was missing, they now discovered was still intact. Nothing could separate them, or could something? Only time could answer this question.

“you’re very sweet.” She finally managed to say.

“All my sweetness come from you dear. You inspire me to be sweet.”

“Tell me, how do you manage to convert even a simple statement into a romantic dialogue?” she asked, visibly surprised.

“Well, I’ve an interesting muse you see.” He replied with a dead pan expression, trying to sound serious. He failed miserably because she burst out laughing hearing this.

He joined her laughter and said, “you look so cute when you laugh. I’m really gonna miss you.” This time he sounded serious.

“Miss me? you’re going somewhere?” she asked.

“I think I am.” The seriousness stuck in his voice, but then he brought a faint smile on his face, and said, 

“Tanya, I love you. You’re my dearest friend.” And again hugged her.

Tanya did hug him back but didn’t respond to his I love you, she seldom did, following their linkup, she had become very conscious of everything she said and she didn’t want to say anything that would give a wrong indication to Varun. Better safe than sorry, she believed. But did Varun mind that? Probably not. He was the guy who said ‘I love you’ not with an intention to hear it back but just to make sure the other person knew his feelings.

The hug this time didn’t last for long. Their hug and the silence of the moment was broken by the shrill ringing of her cell phone. She asked Varun to excuse her for a minute and went ahead to answer the call.

It was Sandhya, her friend, member of their group.

“hey Sandy, what’s up?” she asked answering the call.

Sandhya didn’t reply, all Tanya could hear was sobs on the other side of the phone.

“what’s up Sandhya? You’re crying? What happened?” she could now sense panic in her own voice.

“Tanya…Tanya…I just had a call from Atul, Varun’s roommate and…” her voice trailed, her sobs were growing harder and louder.

  “and? What’s the mystery Sandy? You aren’t making me feel the least bit comfortable.” She answered, with some amount of anger evident in her voice.

“Tanya. Varun’s dead. He met with an accident an hour ago, and he…he is no more between us Tanya…he’s gone forever.” She said and disconnected the call.

“what the fuck!!” she exclaimed, she was writhing in anger. How could Sandhya crack such a bad joke. It was really foul on her part. Varun’s dead an hour ago. And here he’s sitting next to me.

She decided to tell this to Varun and turned towards him. Varun. Where did he go? Just a moment ago, he was sitting next to her, but wasn’t there anymore. She called out his name a dozen times, the pitch increasing every time. She decided to ring him just to check whether he had gone somewhere. Easy, just dial the second most recent number from the recent call history. But, there wasn’t any call from Varun recently. She dialled his number only to get the ‘phone is switched off’ message.

And then reality struck. Sandhya was playing no joke. She gave her a news. Now she came to realise the intricacies of what Varun had said sometime back.

“are you going somewhere?”

“Maybe I am.” He had said.

She finally realised what he meant when he said “I have very less time with me.”

Varun was gone. He just came here to set things between them and to express how much he loved her, how much he cared for her.

The world came crashing around her. She always believed, or rather made herself believe that no one person can ever be too special. Varun had proved her wrong. He was a special friend. She now realised. It was just that she realised it a bit too late.

Tears puddled in her eyes and she looked heavenwards, as if trying to search Varun somewhere over there. She saw that the stars were twinkling in full glory, the sky was still bright, but the moon, the moon was overshadowed by the clouds. She could relate that to her situation, she had plenty of friends around her, just like the sky still had the stars, but Varun was gone, just like the moon was hidden behind the clouds.

But what was more painful was the moon will eventually come out of the clouds, but Varun was never going to come back. She had just lost a dear friend, forever.

 A lone tear trickled down her cheeks, and she finally mumbled, “I love you too Varun.”

Did this come out a bit late? Guess, it did.

   

Kya Hota Hai Saccha Pyaar...

Jab koi tumhe pooche kya hai tumhe usse pyaar,

Aur tum bejhijak kaho, haan wohi to hai mera yaar.

Shayad use kehte hain pyaar…

Baaton me ho agar dil ka dimag ki jagah istemal,

Aur uski har baat, uski har ada ka ho istakbal,

Shayad use kehte hain pyaar…

Bayan na karein jab lafz tumhare,

Keh jayein tumhari aankhein kahani sari

Shayad use kehte hain pyaar…

Dhadkano ka na ho hisaab, waqt ka na ho thikana,

Dil se awaaz nikle, har pal, bus mujhe hain tumhara saath nibhana,

Shayad use kehte hain pyaar…

Tum sang bitaye har lamhe ko hai sahejne ki aas;

Rab se sirf itni dua ki tum raho humesha dil ke paas,
tum sang thi meri palkein khushi se num,

sang tumhare reh gaye mere alfaz kum,

Tumse tha to bahot kuch kehna, sab reh gaya adhoora.

Haan, tumhare hone se khud ki zindagi ka ehsaas hua mujhe poora.

Gar ho sake to laut aao sirf ek baar,

Kehna chahta hun tumse, haan ho hi gaya tha mujhe bhi pyaar.

Kya Sachmuch Dharti Swarg Samaan Hai?

Kal kaha kisine mujhse,

Manushya hi to hai sarvashaktimaan.

Uske hone ki wajah se,

Ye dharti hai swarg samaan.

Ye dharti hai swarg samaan,

Ye dharti hai swarg samaan,

Yeh sawal kar raha ab mujhe pareshan,

Kya sachmuch hai dharti swarg samaan?

Duniya mein faila bhrashtachar hai,

Yehi bane aaj ke niyam aur achaar hain,

Sankat me hai humari aan,

kya sachmuch hai dharti swarg samaan?

Jhooth aur burai ka hai bolbala,

Netaaon aur afsoron ka hai gadbadzala,

100 me se yahan 99 hai beimaan,

Kya sachmuch hai dharti swarg samaan?

Baarud aur hathiyaar ka hai purzor vyapaar,

Tabaahi ki kagaar pe khada hai humara sansaar,

Har taraf faila hai maut ka saamaan,

Kya sachmuch dharti hai swarg samaan?

Pradushan se duniya hai bezaar,

Charo taraf sirf hai hahakaar,

Uska zimmedaar hai sirf insaan,

Kya sachmuch hai dharti swarg samaan?

Mera bhaarat mahan,

Dharmanirpekhsta humari shaan,

Lekin Kabhi Ram, toh kabhi Allah ke naam pe hai jaati kai jaan,

Kya sachmuch dharti hai swarg samaan?

Kya sachmuch dharti hai swarg samaan?

Kya sachmuch dharti hai swarg samaan?

With You My Love

thinking about you day and night,
my love for you is beyond limits
sunk in ur thoughts, cherishing ur memories, gentle and white,
my love for u is beyond limits.
in the seasons dull and blue,
wanna let u know, i'll be dere for u

i m dere wid u, i always was, i always will be.
u r my love, u'll be always loved by me.

my heart beats for u, u r dere in my soul,
never was away from ur memories, ur memories make me whole.
in the seasons dull and blue,
wanna let u know, i'll be dere for u..


ur my peace, ur my place of solace,
come to me whenever the need be.
wanna be wid u always, never go anywhere,
i feel loved, wanted and cared, u make me feel like nobody else does.
in the seasons dull and blue,
wanna let u know, i'll be dere for u..

i m dere wid u, i always was, i always will be..
ur my dearest love, u will be always loved by me.

Where is The Indian?

Where is the INDIAN?

Few days back I attended an elocution competition in my college. The speaker was saying something about us, the Indians, our nationality, and giving age old examples of the age old phrase ‘unity in diversity’. The speech made us all feel proud as “We, the citizens of India”, but also somewhere deep down my heart; it left me with few burning questions. Are we really united? Are we actually one? Does India actually posses the hypothetically propounded quality of ‘unity in diversity’? The recent happenings in our country further fuelled my thoughts.

Let me first share with you few facts about our motherland. The Indian economy is the world's eleventh-largest by nominal GDP and third-largest by purchasing power parity (PPP). Following market-based economic reforms in 1991, India became one of the fastest-growing major economies; it is considered a newly industrialised country. A nuclear weapons state and a regional power, it has the third-largest standing army in the world and ranks ninth in military expenditure among nations. India is a federal constitutional republic governed under a parliamentary system consisting of 28 states and 7 union territories. India is a pluralistic, multilingual, and multiethnic society.

The above mentioned facts gladly borrowed from Wikipedia and other such sources; make us feel proud, don’t they? They surely do. But this is what we tell to the whole world. Let’s now see what has been going in our country since a few days. Probably that will help shape my idea more clearly to you.

In July 2012 the Indian state of Assam saw outbreaks of riots between indigenous Bodos and migrants of Bangladeshi origin. The first incident was reported to have taken place on 20 July 2012. As of 8 August 2012, 77 people had died and over 400,000 people were taking shelter in 270 relief camps, after being displaced from almost 400 villages. Eleven people have been reported missing. On 27 July 2012, Assam's Chief Minister Tarun Gogoi blamed the national government for "delay in army deployment to riot-hit areas". The next day, Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh visited the relief camps in Kokrajhar and called the recent violence a blot on the face of India. Indian Home Minister P. Chidambaram visited the state on Monday, 30 July to review the security situation and the relief and rehabilitation measures being taken. Lok Sabha member from Bodoland, Sansuma Khunggur Bwiswmuthiary blamed illegal immigration for the violence in the state. This violent outbreak follows ethnic tensions between the indigenous Bodo community and Muslims immigrants from Bangladesh who settled in Assam. While the Muslim community state that they are descendants of East Bengali Muslims brought to Assam during the British Raj, local communities allege that the Muslim population has increased, boosted by refugees from the erstwhile East Pakistan prior to the 1971 Indo-Pakistani War and by subsequent illegal migrants from Bangladesh.

Now this particular incident of Assam riots triggered a chain of events across the nation. A protest by several Muslim organisations was organised at the Azaad Maidan, Mumbai, to condemn the attacks on their community in Myanmar and Assam. Somehow, the protest got violent injuring 50 and killing two people. Also there was destruction of public property including the Amar Jawan Jyoti. 

Also highly intensified rumours of north east Indians being attacked spread like wild fire which led to flee of north Indians from metropolitan and multicultural cities like Pune, Mumbai, Bengaluru, Chennai, and Hyderabad.   

Another incident which involves a highly respected and honourable personality from Maharashtra declaring publicly to brand every Bihari as an infiltrator and threatening to send them back happened not many days ago.

My point in telling you all this story all over again which you must have read on the net and in the newspapers a million times and seen on the television news channel a zillion times? The point is, are we one?

In India, it’s quite common to find a Bengali, Bihari, Maharashtrian, Guajarati, Tamilian, Punjabi, and other such provincial representatives, isn’t it?  But why is it so difficult to find one nationality called Indian. All we hear and see is a Maharashtrian representative taking a dig at the immigrants from Bihar and then the leaders from Bihar trashing both, the comment as well as the person who made it.

We have a prosperous and well to do state which we fondly call Andhra Pradesh, but a particular section over there is hell bent on dividing the state into two and having a separate state called Telangana. The demand for a Bodoland has raised its head from time to time. Loving ones state is one thing, but considering it a supreme one and belittling others is not. And it is just unacceptable when we belong to one nation called INDIA.

It isn’t that we don’t show our nationality or our unity for that sake. Every time the nation has faced a terror attack or things of that sort, the whole nation stood up, took to the social media, conducted peace protests and candle marches, voiced the opinion of oneness. But what happened after the incident was subdued by the factor called time? You probably have the answer, don’t you? 

The great leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, Chandra Shekhar Azad, Bhagat Singh, and Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel worked throughout the life and gave their blood, sweat and bone for the nation. Yes, that lucky and proud nation is which you and I call India. Are we doing justice to their preaching and works? You are really smart; you have the answer of this question as well.

Guys, the nation is going through a tough phase. We have to deal with gargantuan monsters like terrorism, Maoism, recession and corruption. For that we need to be united. The country needs us.

Folks, we need to find someone whom we call INDIAN. We need to rise above our provincial stature and be one single voice. Let us be the voice of an Indian. Let us cease to be a Bengali, Punjabi, Gujarati, Bihari or Maharashtrian. Let us all become an Indian. That my dear friends; is the true discovery of India. And that will actually prove that we are one and ‘unity in diversity’ is not some age old saying but a genuine quality that our nation possesses. 

Disclaimer: the author has taken utmost taken care in maintaining accuracy of the article above and does not intend to heart the sentiments of anyone. If, however, some error has crept in or it unintentionally hurts anybody, the author requests to consider him another mortal being and pardon him.